I Am A Rare Person, A Middle Aged Female Who Uses Anabolic Steroids.

"I am a rare person. I am a middle aged female, who looks pretty "avarage", a bit on the tall, lean side. Ouiet and shy, not somebody that anybody would ever connect with being on anabolic steroids. The reality is that I am. If I was not on them, if I was alive at all, I would be a wasted skeleton with loose skin hanging.

From age 6, I was underweight and no ammount of food would fix it. As a child and teen, I was teased CONSTANTLY and often beat on at school. I was called "skinny bones" "skeleton" and all kinds of stuff everyday. It really made me feel bad inside. People always came up to me and asked "why I did not eat anything" and "why was I so skinny?". My parents would get notes and calls from school about me being underweight. Every time somebody said something.....and it was all the time.....it really hurt, I felt deformed and that I was mutated and stood out as a freak. I was told I would outgrow it, but I never did. I even dropped out of school because the teasing was so bad.

I never mattered how much I ate. As an adult, I got offensive comments everyplace. So called "nice" people as well as punks would say stuff. A nurse would tell me "You are nothing but skin and bones"......A lady in church would gasp and say...."OH, you are so skinny, what is wrong" A neighbor got several neighbors together and confronted me about my "anorexia" and I was never anorexic.I just do not have the energy to write about a lot of the hurtful experiences I had.

When I looked in the mirror, I did not see a person, but a distorted elongated "skinny thing" It was not a "good skinny" at all. I am tall, had long limbs my bones stuck out. It totally sucked! I went through things like cancer, severe asthma and pnemonia and would get even skinnier even when I ate a lot. I never was given any direction on how to help myself....just eat more and eat grease and sugar junk ( I did and got severly hyperglycemic and ketoacidosis and skinnier)

I never connected with using weights until I was in my mid thirties, when a neighbor asked if I wanted some magazines and they were all muscle magazines. I thought it was another mean put-down, but I looked at the magazines and it was something I could not relate to until I saw a story about a real life sickly guy, emaciated like me and then it showed him after a year of weight training and he really looked good. It was real hard for me to go into a gym....I was so ashamed of myself. At first I went in a ladies class and they said I was too skinny. I never went back, but I went in the weight room and forced myself to work out every day. I hated the idea of people seeing me but I liked how working out made me feel. I would just try and blank everybody out and lift. Eventually some of the bodybuilders saw I was very serious and they started training me.

Change was very subtle but I saw some improvment so I was hooked. Sometimes I heard talk about some bad thing called a "steroid", never heard of it before. Did not think much about it. If somebody was strong or had big muscles.....people would say "they are on steroids", I had no idea what steroids were. If I had a strong day, somebody would say something like "you taking steroids?" and a bodybuilder with big muscles told me" you could never keep training as much as I did without ending up on steroids", I still did not know what it was and got the impression they were bad. I trained for 10 yrs natural. It did help, but I was still very thin, even though I was quite strong and could lift a lot. Still I had bad asthma and would get pnemonia often. I would get sick and lose weight and it was so frustrating.

I do not totally remember how I started. I did it with medical supervision. I took shots. I had a lot of chronic fatigue and the more androgenic stuff gave me a little energy. I had shots of stuff like Deca and even long acting tests. I had scrips for an anabolic called Oxandrin. I always felt self concious getting the Oxandrin at the pharmacy. I did gain with them.....all the way to a normal weight for my height. The rude comments stopped. I got one bad side effect. I got some hair growing in the wrong places, and have had to shave a lot, really hate that, but hated the wasted body worse. It has been nice to not have my bones show and see a person in the mirror instead of "a skinny thing". I look normal in my pictures.

At one point I had a set-back. Had been doing good and cut back on the anabolics, was eating too much sugar and junk, got an infection and got very hyper glycemic and suddenly started wasting away again.....awful feeling. My skin fell in folds and my body wasted. I did not expect to recover. My doctor said I would. I just hated being in that condition. Had to really change my diet and cut out junk. Then really upped the anabolics.....shot every week instead of every 2 or 3 weeks. It seemed slow but my body came back. I was too weak to even walk when I was sick but a few weeks later I started doing light work outs at home and a month later came back to the gym.

I am 5'10' and am maintaining about 155lbs on anabolics, working out 4 days a week and having to watch what I eat because of my bloodsugar problem. I am near 50yrs old. I have muscles that show, but am not huge or freaky. I am not like a pro. bodybuilder or anything like that. I am not trying to be anything outstanding or special. I just hated having a real skinny wasted body and it feels better to have some strenght. I have to say that steroids are good for me. I could never not be real skinny without having anabolics as part of my program. I just do not absorb what I eat otherwise. If I could be OK naturally, then I would not use them. I think all the hype about them is over done. Steroids can help a chronically underweight person and/or a person with a wasting illness. All medical drugs have risks and potential side affects. As drugs go, steroids are not unusually dangerous. To me, real sugary food is much more deadly.

I do think that medical supervision is necessary to do it right. They need to be used with respect and a person should be monitered It is a shame because many people can not get it legally and turn to the black market and face impure stuff and legal trouble. It is a shame that they are not researched more. Few doctors know much about them. Many doctors who are against "anabolic steroids" use give patients "testosterone" and not "steroids". I wish they were researched more so side effects could be reduced and anabolic effects boosted.

I do not worry about steroids harming me. I have had cancer and illnesses before I took anything. Being so underweight for so long hurt my life a lot. I would not recommend that young, healthy, not-real-skinny people take them. Underweight people deserve to have that option. I do not feel I can talk about using them. There is such a stigma or distorted hype about them. More stigma for a female too. Most women my age are trying to get weight off! Most people would never even imagine I use them, unless they saw how wasted I was. Then they just think I "overcame my anorexia". I do not really want or need any excess attention directed at me, so I just do not say anything about using steroids to anybody.

Well that is how it is for me. Has not been easy. Would rather not have such a problem in the first place. That is life. Thanx for reading."

Editors Note: Anabolic steroids are more powerful in women because women have a much lower level of naturally occurring testosterone than men. This difference in testosterone levels is responsible for many of the physical and mental differences between men and women. A woman who takes anabolic steroids can start growing hair on her face and chest while losing hair on her head. Women can also experience deepening of the voice, clitoral enlargement, and many other side effects while using anabolic steroids. Many of these side effects are irreversible. The woman in the above story is chronically underweight and took anabolic steroids under a doctor's care. Clearly, in her situation anabolic steroids were a lifesaver. However, women who do not have medical conditions and take anabolic steroids without consulting a doctor often regret it for the rest of their lives. When a woman stops taking anabolic steroids and still finds herself talking like a man and shaving it is not a pretty picture. Comprehensive information on all of the side effects that anabolic steroids can cause in men and women can be found in The Steroid Bible.

 
 
 
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